On getting home tonight I was overcome with fatigue. I hopped in the pod and swung myself to sleep only to be woken by someone banging on the door. I wasn't dreaming -nowt like that. I did however wake feeling somewhat disorientated - was the bang one of those hypnopompic hallucinations my mum's always ranting on about. The bang came again and I was more certain of my ground this time. "There's someone at the door " I concluded. But could I get up? Could I fuck... I was paralysed - it must have lasted 5 seconds before I could muster anything remotely resembling movement. It was more a battle of the will. Putting thought into action. It usually comes so naturally.
I mean, this has happened before. Countless times, so I'm not that concerned. I'm not dead or anything. I'm not totally fucked - destroyed or anything so final. I breathe still, like a young mother no less. It's a funny one. It's like when I woke up one morning feeling strange - I often wake up not knowing what's going on, or what has gone on, and this was a bit like that. I went downstairs and my mum was there - smiling at me. It turns out she'd found be (at 4am) curled up in the living room - naked. I'd hidden my clothes in the piano except my pants which I'd stashed in one of my shoes - neatly positioned either side of the sleeping cat, Boris aka Timble.
I often wonder what would happen if I woke up one day and I'd forgotten how to live. Timble did that once. I shall myself one day -what the heck happens then? Maybe by remembering to live, you're distracted from the other stuff.
Anyway, I'm planning on staying alive for now. It's for the best.
Just installed the new ceephax alb. check it out, if you like that sort of thing. If not, don't bother; you won't like it- stands to reason as my old uncle Charlie used to say. He was from the East end of Londinium - He forgot how to live some time ago.
